I cannot tell you how many people I know that struggle with sleep. They tell me that they cannot fall asleep, cannot stay asleep, and even if they do sleep, they wake up feeling sluggish and unrested. The whole situation just creates a cycle of anxiety that can build upon itself and wreak havoc with our natural rhythms. I used to also have issues with sleep on the regular, and now, when I have heightened restlessness and worry about something in my life, my sleep can still suffer if I am not mindful and take care of myself. “Sleep Hygiene”, I have heard it called. And it is really, really important to overall health. So many people would not ever wear a shirt with a tiny stain, or miss a workout, or skip brushing their teeth for the day, but sleep? It’s like we are conditioned to feel like it is a waste of time. If you ask me, this is a major problem, the repercussions of which I shudder to imagine.
Before I moved to the mountains, I slept 5-6 hours if I was lucky, and I slept with the TV on to crowd out the incessant voices in my head. I would look at my phone until I couldn’t hold it up any more, and then just lie there thinking. Back then I thought, “well, if I cannot sleep, I might as well figure out some problems, and do some planning”, and I would indulge all my thoughts until my body just dropped into sleep from sheer exhaustion. In the morning, two large mugs of coffee were required before I could even move from my desk chair, where I began every single day dealing with emails and reading the news. (Someday I will write about how I have learned to start my days, that is a grand area of improvement in my life, too!)
When I first left DC and moved to the mountains, I went into an immediate cycle of allowed sleeping- meaning, whenever I was tired, I allowed myself to sleep. I “swore off” the TV and computer for a time, simply because I was so burnt out. A part of me felt it was “catching up on my sleep”, a part of me really was worried, thinking I had contracted some serious illness, but the biggest part of me felt lazy and indulgent. I had never allowed myself to sleep when I was tired, so i found myself napping, sometimes even 2 or 3 times a day! Well, long story short, I look back on that time now as a period of resetting. My rhythms just naturally began to cycle around the sun and weather. Today, I am an early bird, generally popping awake by about 5 or so, sitting in meditation for an hour or more, and then beginning the day’s activities. Of course, that also means that by 10pm, I am fast asleep most days.
What I learned for myself during my own resetting period was a few key things that I think could be helpful to anyone. You have probably seen all of these written somewhere on some healthy lifestyle website, but I came by these truths through my lived experience. I use my journal to create experiments with different situations, and I record how they play out, and so my own experience becomes my greatest teacher. Nowadays, I like to use EVERY POSSIBLE SITUATION as an OPPORTUNITY to MEDITATE. To AWAKEN.
1.) Caffeine and food. I notice that having tea or coffee, especially, in the afternoon, and any heavy sugary or salty foods just fire up my brain and body. Sugar seems to invite restless legs for me, and salt or caffeine just sends my inner thermostat into a tailspin. I also find that knowing (and accepting!) I had a too big, too salty bowl of popcorn and that I will be sweating my ass off helps me not to dwell on it too much when I wake up later on in a puddle of my own sweat. If I do wake up with these side effects, I will tend to use them as my meditation, noticing the quality and location of the sensations, along with their changing nature. Noticing these sensations, not letting them carry me off into stories about these sensations.
2.) If I want maximum rest, I cannot look at any screens for an hour or more before I want to fall asleep. I choose old school books most nights. I can really tell the difference now, if I do choose to look at my phone before closing my eyes, I can feel the agitation in my mind, almost like a high energy residue gets left on my eyes and brain which revs up my thoughts. If I watch a show before bed, I notice that I am groggy in the morning. Sluggish. And often, my dreams are vivid and troublesome. Grogginess, or “sloth and torpor” as it is referred to in Buddhist circles, is a frequent visitor and a wise teacher.
3.) I cannot indulge my thoughts while trying to fall asleep. Now, when thoughts appear as I am trying to fall asleep, I use the opportunity to notice them, let them go, and return my attention to the breath. Sometimes I will do a body scan, starting at the head and making my way down to the toes, and back up if I need to. For one, it is great meditation practice, and two, I do not keep stirring the thinking mind and eventually it settles into stillness, just like a forest pond. Like I said earlier, I used to think that “thinking was my superpower”, but now I see it more like an untrained hungry puppy, very persistent and hard to wrangle, so I don’t keep poking at it.
4.) If I am very, very restless, I will do some walking or gentle yoga for a bit before I get into bed. The sounds of nature, like crickets, wind, or rain, are amazing mind wranglers. I have also found that the droning sounds of certain music (Benjy Wertheimer !!!) is simply instant calm for me.
5.) A guided meditation or talk from a soothing voice. If you know me, you know I adore Ram Dass. But there are so many amazing resources out there, and if you don’t feel like looking far, I created this 15 minute soothing body scan guided meditation for you. It is designed for you to play while you are in bed, ready to sleep, lights out. Hopefully you will never make it through the whole thing ;)
Golden Slumbers!
